my brain, lately
-Old friends. Aren't they weird? Some of them you can go years without seeing, and it feels as if they never left, while you simultaneously wonder how you ever made it through a day without them. Other times, it's plain uncomfortable. You're just standing there, staring at each other, waiting for the conversation to flow the way it used to. And you're thinking, what happened here? We used to be tight! Back when you knew all of their secrets and favorite songs. But now something is off. And you'll probably never figure out what.
-I have this tendency, to get lost in beautiful things. Which are far more common than people tend to realize. Especially when you consider all of the insanely beautiful things that the sky does, every single day. Really. I am fully convinced that paying attention to the sky on a regular basis makes an individual's life at least 8% more enjoyable. Lately I've been particularly taken with those few moments between sunset and night. Where the stars are barely coming out, but there is still the tiniest bit of light coming from the western horizon. Magic.
-Do you ever forget your age? When someone asks you for it, you get all mixed up between last year's and this year's and wonder if you're even a person at all. If it weren't for math I probably would have lost track years ago. I hate that I just found a practical reason for math to exist.
-There is this line from a Conor Oberst song: "I watch you braid your hair; you're from another time, when the earth wasn't so angry, and God was on our side." I've always wanted to be that girl. You know? The soft, gentle, sweet-natured lady with the loose curls and the classy wardrobe. Who is typically found in a skirt somewhere, picking flowers and singing. But I'm much too distracted. With short, edgy hair cuts. Busy patterns. Jeans. And the fact that part of me also wants to look like Maja Ivarsson. Contradiction, contradiction.
-I'm definitely PMSing today. Definitely. And I know this because every single person I've had to call for work today has hurt my feelings. Or, I guess I should say, I've gotten my feelings hurt by them. All I can think of is that line from You've Got Mail. "It's not personal - it's business." But I can't fathom that right now. Because right now, the perfect storm is brewing inside of my body and everything, and I do mean everything, seems as personal as the most awkward medical exam.