It really doesn't matter.

Sometimes I get to thinking about what I'm capable of.  About that ever-itching word, potential.  I've always disliked it, because it made me tired.  It's an exhausting word.  But sometimes I wonder about what I could have done, if I had woken up earlier.  Not literally, just in a general sort of way.  Though literally waking up earlier most likely would have helped me out as well.

You see, I spent the first 18 years of my life walking around in a stupor.

What makes me any different from the people I admire?  I have hands, just like them.  Only, they use their hands to write beautiful music and inspiring books. They use their hands to perform life-saving surgeries or to pull themselves up to the summit of...Mount Kilimanjaro or something ridiculous like that.  I use mine for browsing the internet at my desk job and driving straight back home at the end of the day.

I have a mind, just like them.  A perfectly good and capable mind.  Only, they use theirs to carry out plans to make miracles happen.  I mostly just dream of the weekend.  That time when I get to sit at home instead of sitting at work.

But I've got taxes to pay and a mortgage to gain.  So it looks like I'll be here a while.

Last night, we saw Deep Sea Diver and Telekinesis.  I would recommend them both, if you're at all concerned about that.

Like I said, it doesn't matter.  I'm being silly.  It's fine.


  1. ugh. amen amen. that. and the crazy thing is my biggest fear is waking up in my twenties and realising i did nada. but still i sit around and do nothing and like you said, dream of the weekend when i can sit on the couch and read instead of sitting on my bed and studying. i have started teaching myself html, css, xml, you know the good stuff. that makes me feel better. anywho... i'm rambling.

    btw, you're a no-reply blogger... so whenever i reply to your comments, you don't get notified. it's sad really.


    1. Wait what! There is a way to be notified?? How do I do this? How do I be a reply-blogger?

    2. http://anyonecandecorate.blogspot.com/2012/09/are-you-no-reply-blogger-how-to-fix.html

      The thing is, when you comment, if I would reply by clicking the little reply blogger I still won't get notified even though I'm not a no-reply blogger. When you get the email saying I commented press reply there and type your response and it will come to my inbox. No one else will see it, it won't show up on my blog but I get notified. So yeah, it's pretty cool :)

  2. hm. i know these feels all to well. :/

  3. this is a little bit of why i started blogging again. forcing me to be creative in more than just fleeting thoughts and ideas. your writing has inspired me, if that counts for anything.

  4. It is kind of crazy to think that the geniuses of the world have the same things to work with as we normal people. Scary D:

  5. I hate that word, potential. You can be whatever you want they say but it's a lie. I'll always just be who I already am.



  6. I think about this all the time, and wonder if I am crazy. Its good to know that there are other people out there who think the same thought. If its normal, thats great. If its not, I am not the only crazy one out there.

    1. You definitely aren't. Because everyone else thinks things like this at some point. And...even if it did make you crazy, then everyone else is crazy too. Which would make crazy normal. Which, I think it is. Wow, anyway, thanks for the comment!


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