4/18/13

good.

Let's just make believe for a moment that you aren't a dreamer who always assumes the best in every person and situation.  And that I'm not a skeptical misanthrope that doubts every good thing you say.  On second thought, let's not imagine that. Because if those things weren't true, I'm not sure what would have brought us together and kept us there with such force.

I've figured something out.

There is a terrible and malicious tendency inside of me to compare my life to everyone else's.  That isn't actually the thing I've figured out, because I already knew that about me and so did you.  Let's back up a bit.

Marriage is the best choice I ever made, but I've found that it also opened up a whole new region of things I could potentially feel insecure about.

What I've figured out is how to send this horrid tendency back to its miserable home, at least as far as my marriage is concerned.  As for the rest of my life...it's a work in progress.

You see, since I've been married, I've spent nothing short of an outrageous amount of time thinking things like this:

"We don't rock climb like them.  Why don't we rock climb like them?  Do we even like rock climbing?  I guess that makes us unbearably boring."

"They stay out later than us.  Does that make them more fun?  Should we be more fun and stay out late too?  I'm so tired."

"His wife has a master's degree.  Why don't I have a master's degree?  I'm clearly the worst wife ever."

"Wait, they cook?  We lose."

"They fight more than us.  We must not be open enough in our communication."

"They fight less than us.  Our marriage is doomed."

But I've found the solution, and that is serving my husband.  After my brain purges itself of all these irrational thoughts, I finally come to terms with the fact that the only thing wrong with my marriage is that I think something is wrong with my marriage.  I get proactive, and make efforts to do little things that I know will make him happy.  In turn, we are happier.  Suddenly, we're back to our roots.  To laughing every thirty seconds, to discussing musical trivia, to dreaming about our future, to waking up slow on Saturdays, to planning road trips for concerts, to dancing in the kitchen, to having what seems like unreasonable amounts of fun doing absolutely nothing.

Good for the rock climbers, and the stay-out-laters, the gourmet chefs, and the mater's degree earners.

Good for you, and good for us.

11 comments:

  1. You know when you read a blog post and you literally exclaim things out loud as you read like "Wow" or "Whoa" or "ooh!" That was me. During the entirety of this post.

    "Good for you, and good for us."

    That's beautiful!!

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    1. Thanks so very much! You're the best Erin.

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  2. Love this post! Craig and I feel the same way sometimes, but we've stopped caring so much now. We like what we like and if we're considered lazy to some couples, so be it. We enjoy our adventures and each other.

    PS. You and your husband are the couple I look at and say "Craig, we need to do more things like Megan her her husband. Look at how much fun they're having!".

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    1. Haha Ohhh Trish. That made me laugh. We do have fun, but mostly the kind where we're laying in bed eating things, petting our cat and watching TV.

      We should hang out one day.

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    2. We should. I would really enjoy that!

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  3. love this.
    so much.

    "the only thing wrong with my marriage is that i think something is wrong with my marriage"

    beautiful writing, meg.

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  4. love this. i'm like this all the time. obviously, not with my non existent marriage but in blogging, cooking, writing... LIVING.. everything really. good thoughts and beautiful words. thank you, meg! xx

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  5. I have an issue that many of my married friends are buying homes. We don't even have an apartment. Ha. Or that they have graduated. We aren't anywhere close. So thank you for the reminder!

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  6. thanks for reminding me of this, meg, it's easy to lose sight of. i'm gunna remember "good for you, and good for us."

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  7. Yep. You just keeping doing you. You is cool.

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