8/29/13

doers.

"Well, are you a dreamer or a doer?"

That was your question.  And I didn't want to answer, because I think that was the moment I realized just how ill-suited we were.  I knew an honest answer would inevitably tear you and I into the separate walks of life we were headed toward.

Me?  Not a doer.  More like, easily satisfied - to a fault.  And I wish someone would have revealed that to me, at some point.  At some point before I woke up to the terrible realization of what I had missed.  I wish they would have grabbed both of my shoulders in their hands and shaken that satisfaction right out of me.

Not that I can justifiably blame anybody else.  Even though I'd like to.

I never used to think I was a perfectionist.  That never came up on the list of "Words I Would Use to Describe Myself."  Not even once.  But I'm coming to figure out that I am, although a peculiar breed.

When I consider doing, my mind immediately informs me of all the better doings other people have already done.  And I think to myself, well, if I'm not the best, if it won't be perfect, if I can't make it just-so, then what is the point?

And that is the thought that has kept from from doing, that, as it seems, will be keeping me from it my whole existence.

3 comments:

  1. You're a great writer! I loved this!

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  2. i would consider myself a perfectionist but I have the same thought process. I want to be the best at whatever it is and if it isn't then it's not good enough then why bother. or i do bother then get all discouraged. ugh, so is life aha. i love your writing, but you already knew that.

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  3. It's so freaky to actually do things. It's so hard to get out of our comfortable zone and just DO. I like to think of the verse when Paul is speaking to Timothy and he tells him that he ran the race.... he didn't say he WON the race, but he ran it. He did. He moved. We don't have to win, we just have to do something.

    Anyway, I feel passionate about this because I struggle with it on a daily basis. Especially because I will be graduating soon and am facing the idea that I have to make my own choices rather than doing what ever my teachers tell me.

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