In summary, I lie.

It feels kind of silly to sign on here only to say that I've had nothing to say lately.  But the wordy part of myself seems to have temporarily taken shelter under other mediums and means of communication.  (Or lack thereof.)  I'm not sure how long she'll be away for, in spite of my efforts to coax her back.

All I can say is, Spring has been lovely thus far, as Spring tends to be (so long as you are willing to look past her occasional petulance, like you must with any loved one).  

I've been battling, as usual, with what I've started referring to as The Ache of the Twenties.  The one that asks from deep inside of my limited human frame, What are you doing with your existence?!  To which I respond with a resounding, I have NO IDEA!  But do I really have to right this moment?  Is it really expected that I have it all figured out at 24?  I don't think so.  And so I carry on for another few days or weeks until the ache is back again, with her unruly demands.

What I am doing is following what moves me, whatever that may be at whatever given moment in time.

Whether that be buying a new record and blasting it through the house as I coat dirty dishes in hot water and suds.  Whether that be taking a few moments out of my day to photograph some blooming buds in the front yard, or chasing down a sun set, or attempting a pastel drawing.  Or sitting on my bed watching Grey's Anatomy for the umpteenth time with wet eyes and melted chocolate on my fingers as Drew, sincerely puzzled, asks, "Why do you watch this?"  

I'm learning about what I'm interested in.  By Googling it or bothering someone around me who knows more than I do to teach me.  I love being taught new things by someone eager to share. It bothers me to no end when people get stingy about their skills, guarding their knowledge like rabid dogs growling over scraps of food.  They act as if their skill was with them from the womb and we're all fools for not being the same way.  

I have no patience for this behavior, no patience at all.

As usual, mornings are still impossible.  Yet I continue to wake up, empty bladder, brush teeth, wash face, pick outfit, and run toward the door right as Drew gets out of the shower.  The other day, he said something about how fortunate I am to get a naked hug from him every day.  I swear, he's the only person capable of making me laugh before 10 am.

Customer service will never not suck in some way.  "The customer is always right" means that 2+2=5 and logic mattereth not here.  All I've really learned from these jobs is that people don't want to be helped so much as they want to be correct.  

I changed my hair.  Chopped a few inches and had it dyed all the same color again (not pictured), which took six hours altogether.  The two-tone and I had a good run, but it was time for a change.  Partly because the blonde side was just getting too damaged but also for another, more difficult-to-explain reason.  I guess, in short, I want to focus on being seen as a sum of my works - my creations - instead of my hair color.  I think I had been hiding behind extreme hair, sort of maybe.  Does that make any sense?

Also, there have been many fried eggs in my life lately.  For some reason that seemed noteworthy.

My, my, it seems like I lied about having nothing to say.


  1. I feel so connected to you here for two reasons. 1. I just finished my 5th time through of Grey's Anatomy and see no shame in that. If all else fails, I'm ready for my intern appy. 2. I also have been eating a ton of fried eggs. If this isn't adulthood, I don't know what is.

    I am feeling The Ache of the Twenties so hard. I graduate in December and then I'm a *big special adult with a degree* which means nothing. I know nothing but also so much, I guess. Life, man.

  2. You described watching Grey's so, *so* perfectly. Tears and melting ice cream for me. And what you said about changing your hair to be seen for your works was so beautiful. You have this way of writing things that stick with me. Thanks for that. Maybe let's get together and eat some fried eggs (maybe on toast?!) and watch some Grey's soon, mkay? But really. I mean it.

  3. That Ache of the Twenties can be such a beast. My husband came to me a bit ago to express a dream he had of staying in school an extra year to be in a music group he really loved this year. My immediate response was, "Well why in the world should we wait around another year when we still have grad school and real jobs and home purchasing and maybe babies coming down the pipes?!?" But I've since come around to the idea in a major way. At what time in the rest of our collective life will we be able to just put all that stuff on hold for a year of enjoying a fantastic hobby? Yeah, never. So here in Provo we stay, and I'm quite excited about it.

    That was a long story, but basically: shouldn't our twenties be allowed some freedom since "real adulthood," whenever that sets in, apparently includes very little?

    Great post, Meg. As always.

  4. I'm convinced that I won't be a real adult until I buy real laundry hampers and stop using one of those awful mesh fold-up ones. Until then, I allow myself to be lost in the Ache of the Twenties as well, but it can definitely be dizzying sometimes. Hopefully one day we'll figure things out... but then again maybe not, lol. I don't know many people outside of their 20's who have it all together either.

    i'm right here with you on this. i've hardly been blogging and i think i'll just be done for a while becasue i just can't write (like at all. right now. but that's ok. i'm 'following what moves me' as well) and then i'll sit down and stuff will just come spilling out or i'll eat ice cream while watching some silly sappy movie i don't know. but you're awesome. ok.


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