of late.

We went to see The Giver.  And I cried in that theater probably six times over my humanity and the nature of existence and tasting of the bitter to learn to prize the good and the devastating beauty of that damn sunset.  Needless to say, I really liked the film adaptation of this story.  Probably too much.  I know this because whenever I bring it up with someone, there's a moment in the conversation where they give me a startled expression that seems to say, Okay, woah.  

I'm taking an art class at a local institute of healing arts.  It's based on the principles from the book The Artist's Way, which I probably couldn't possibly recommend more than I do right now.  I've only read two chapters and it's changed my life already.  (I know, whoah.  But I can't help my enthusiasm for things I actually care about.  It seems so little of life is focused on these Things That Matter.)  It's a class that teaches how to art, and also how to allow yourself to art.  It consists of many things, including Morning Pages.  

This is where you wake up half hour early and immediately write three pages.  Three pages of whatever is in your head.  The point of it is to shut up your creative Censor, the one who lives in the back of your mind, whose criticism cuts deeper than anyone else's.  You know of whom I refer to.  (Of whom I refer?  Who I refer to?  What?)  I'm flabbergasted at how free-flowing my mind is in the morning.  Like hot butter.  Also at the reality of me waking up early for anything at all.  For me, regarding waking up, the struggle is real.  Too real.  It's been this way my entire life.  I guess all it takes is waking up to do what I love.  That seems worth it.  

But not jogging.  Not a chance.
Drew and I have been jamming out after dinner in our little spare bedroom full of instruments and equipment, some of which belong to us, some of which we stash for other people.  We don't mind.  I've been pretending to be a drummer for about a week now, and if pretending to be a drummer is this much fun, I can't imagine how fun it is to actually be a drummer.  

He helps me, that Drew.  To be brave and just try it.  To banish this ridiculous notion built in to me that in order for anything to be worth doing, it must be done flawlessly and better than anyone else.  We're chipping away at that one, a little bit at a time.  And it's amazing how much more fulfilled I feel.  I'm excited about being alive and breathing air in and out.  

And so, I think I'll keep it up, this being brave.  This daring to be terrible at something.  I'm going to see where it takes me.


  1. This is so perfect. Those gorgeous photos, your writing, all of it. I just love those last few pharagraphs. Love your drumming story. Love it. You rock.

  2. i like that :)

    my mom, who is anything but an artist, read that book too and she's written 4 pages every morning since then and it's helped her so much. she's discovered a different side of her.. she realized how much she loves writing, for example. it seems an effective way of really getting to know yourself.

  3. Life is good right now! I like all of these things going on. It makes me happy to hear.

  4. Was "The Artist's Way" written by Julia Cameron?
    It sounds like something I would very much be interested in. I always feel stifled when it comes to creativity, but it's only from myself. If that makes sense.

    And who honestly gets up and jogs in the morning? Not real people, that's who.

    Anyway, just found your blog and based on your recommendation, I'll go see "The Giver." I've been nervous that I won't like it as much as the book, but we'll see!

  5. The Things That Matter.I love that.keep it up girl!xx

    dreaming is believing

  6. Good for you! Writing is such a great way to connect with yourself and heal. Also I really want to see The Giver, I am glad it was good. How was Taylor Swift in it?

  7. banish this ridiculous notion built in to me that in order for anything to be worth doing, it must be done flawlessly and better than anyone else

    MEG! You're way too good at this writing stuff. you so accurately described the way I do life in one sentence better than anything I could have ever written..

    I need to check out this book.. It sounds amazing. <3

    1. Oh. I saw the Giver.. And cried. I never ever cry in movies not even in TFiOS (i even tried..). And then I went around for weeks telling everyone how much it meant to me and getting too deep and reading into it too much apparently. I'm glad someone else was so deeply affected by it too.


I love reading what you have to say about what I had to say. Feel free to leave those thoughts here.