This foundation of mine. Built up of what? Television, hair product, dining out, home furnishings, nail polish, obsessive documentation of mediocre events. And for what?
Look at me with my ability to spend money on attractive things. Look at me standing in close proximity to these attractive things. Look at me doing my best to resemble an attractive thing. Look, how desirable. How impressive. How significant.
Your life offers words that I enjoy reading.
ReplyDeletethis is intense, but I know what you mean... I feel like that all the time... what's the point?...do I even to important and meaningful things?...never mention to others, but to me... I don't think I even offer anything to myself..and I don't know how...
ReplyDelete"avoid suffering...ignore it"... you're right... I can't stand watching the news or reading the newspaper..I never do...I never know what's happening to the world... I just can't stand the bad news... I see so much shit going on already that I don't need to see any more... but it exists.. and the part of me not "caring"... that sucks... it's like they say.. "if you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem"... I'm just too scared to face those problems, to scared to help, to scared to do something, to weak to bare compassion...