8/6/13

white wash

According to Dr. Taylor Hartman of The Color Code, Drew and I were a very unlikely match.

You see, we're both Whites, with a secondary Blue.  Basically the male and female version of each other.

This combination is common in friendships, but not intimate relationships.  Apparently, it tends to lack a certain "spark," a "tension of opposites" other combinations provide.
Alison Leigh Jones Photography*
And this makes sense to me, on paper. We're both motivated almost entirely by peace.  We find life most enjoyable when it is free of stress and obligation.  We prefer to avoid confrontation, unless absolutely necessary.  Neither of us can stand to do anything that might possibly make another person uncomfortable, even if it makes us uncomfortable.  We feel deeply, but struggle with putting our feelings into words.  We're passionate and motivated only when interested.  We value kindness and sincerity.  We get very uncomfortable when others act out in an inconsiderate and unkind way.  We like secure adventure, and prefer the familiar to the unfamiliar.

In a nutshell, White on White typically leads to a constant struggle with leadership, motivation and being assertive.

The odd thing is, Drew seems to make me more assertive.  Much more so than I was in any other relationship, with a blue or yellow or red.  The way he never demanded any certain behavior from me; he took what I offered and never once looked displeased.  And I think that's what it was.  He made me proud of me.  I no longer felt the need to walk under and around my own tendencies to placate others' expectations.  All that mattered was that I met his.

As far as Drew goes, he's now much more talkative and likely to verbalize his opinions.  This is probably common in any relationship, because we're always more likely to talk when we have someone who values our words.  But, I tell you, this man used to be like Fort Knox to me.  That is, until he figured out that he had chosen a girl with a pathetic need for verbal validation.  Then he got talkative real quick.  Obviously not as talkative as me, because women use 17,000 more words a day than men, on average.  But you see what I mean.

Now, I don't disagree with The Color Code, because that book is like my third Bible.  (Blasphemous?  Borderline, probably.)  All I'm saying is love is its own creature.

*Alison Leigh Jones Photography Website, Blog

16 comments:

  1. LOVE this post. You really are two peas in a pod. Love isn't science, it can't be, because every single human is so different. I'm glad you found each other :)

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    1. It's true, people all have such different quirks. And I think our upbringings have a lot to do with how we turn out too. For better or worse. Thank you so much :)

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  2. Gah every time you write about your wonderful husband I want to cry forever. You two are perfect.

    EmJ
    Tightrope to the Sun

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    1. haha Emma you stop that! We're definitely not perfect. And you need to marry that massage man, remember?

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  3. Your husband looks like Jesus and you have cool hair. word.

    Also, I'm glad to hear someone else call out the color code thing. Even if it's MOSTLY true.

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    1. Why thank you! He just got it cut yesterday, so he doesn't like quite so Jesus-esque anymore haha.

      I do think The Color Code is very spot-on. It says at one point that any combination CAN work, but some just have an easier time of it. Which makes sense. Glad you like it too! Most people think I'm crazy when I talk about it.

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  4. i like that. how love doesn't make sense all the time, other people don't always get it, and how it takes me by surprise.
    also, have i told you you're beautiful, because you are, and that's one really awesome picture.

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    1. Stephanie, you are incredibly sweet. Thank you.

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  5. Sounds like I am very "white" too. I think with books or studies like that, they obviously put a lot of research and time into it, but in the end if people love each other and their relationship works, even if their colours say they shouldn't, then I just think love conquers everything even science!

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    1. Very true. In no way do I mean to "de-bunk" because I do think it's an accurate book. But you just can't account for everything. Humans can't be fully understood haha.

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  6. okay first off. that picture. you two are the best. like hands down.

    i haven't gotten into the color code thing yet, but i want to! i all about mbti codes and what not (INTJ here) and people look at me like i've grown an eyeball when i mention it.

    while it's not always perfect, it's pretty spot on. but i like the idea of love being able to bend the rules sometimes haha.

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    1. Love does break rules haha all the time. Which can be wonderful or not wonderful. Either way it just does what it wants!

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  7. "love is its own creature" that line is everything. EVERYTHING. a concept so rarely discussed, or even understood for that matter.

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    1. Agreed! We humans like to make sense of things. But love is one of those bigger-than-us forces, I think. We can't fully understand it, at least not yet.

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  8. Haha, I had just written a post the other day about personality colors. My office did a training on it, but it must be different than your book cause there was no white.

    Anyway, this is adorable! You guys are like Ken and Barbie. And I realize neither of you truly are like Ken and Barbie, but I think you get what I mean!

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    1. There are quite a few different color personality tests! I think it's such a good idea to use them in a business setting.

      Ken and Barbie haha! I have to say that THAT is a first!

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