1/14/13

history.

He brought me See's and Diet Dew.  And I feel much better about this whole Monday thing.

I have no idea how to transition this, so I'm just gonna move on.  Did you know my parents have been divorced and re-married twice?  Which means they've been married to each other three times?  That's a true story.  One that is probably too complicated and personal to get my blog on about. But aren't they cute?
When I was younger, and they were living separately, I was always worrying about them.  Those of you who have experienced divorce probably understand what I mean here.  Are they bored?  Are they lonely?  Is Dad hungry?  Does Mom have anyone to gab and watch movies with?  It was a conflicting experience, because I, being young, wanted to go out with my friends and do silly things.  Like "hot tubbing" and/or "going 80's." (Which meant we dressed up in neon colors and danced to 80's music until 1am in a sleezy club in Salt Lake City.  I can't say I know why.  My brain wasn't fully developed.)
My parents encouraged me to go and do these things, insisting that I needed to have fun and not worry about them and they were fine and they'd see me for dinner in a few days or whatever.  I knew it wasn't my fault that any of this had happened, and that I also couldn't do anything to fix it.

But in the moments where I felt especially helpless, I always turned to one specific song.  The song of all sad, therapeutic songs.  Yes, we're talking Fix You, by Coldplay. 

"Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you"


It's pretty ironic because, as I have previously stated, I knew I couldn't fix it or them or anything about the situation.  But this song seemed to appeal to my irrational feelings and voiced the thoughts that I didn't have energy to put into words at the time.  Which is the best kind of song.  I'm not even a very big Coldplay fan.  But that song, it hit the spot.

That song was on the episode of The O.C. that Drew and I watched on Saturday night.  And what did I do?  Bawled like a baby.  Even though things are much different now, and my parents mostly keep each other company and, rest assured, my mom sees to it that my dad never goes hungry, those emotions came flooding back.

And I was glad.  Drew and I talked about difficult things.  How they shape and mold us into stronger, more capable people.  I'm glad that song still brings tears, that I still remember.  Because I learned things from those experiences that have become a vital part of who I am and how I live my life.
My dad.  Somewhere in the 70's,

I don't mean that we should hold on to the bad memories and let them control our lives.  We should do our best to rise above negative or difficult situations.
 
But I'm not sure how to learn other than by reviewing history, and if I forgot my history, I would likely forget what I learned.

3 comments:

  1. Wow that's so interesting. Married three times to the same person!

    I like what you wrote about it all. Thanks for it!

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  2. That is seriously interesting! You have cute parents:) also, you are wise beyond your years girl! Thanks for sharing.

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  3. I remember this time so well. I love you, I love your adorable parents. They've always been so kind to me, and made me feel right at home back in those days. I definitely learned a lot from your family too, things that have shaped me into who I am as well.

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