Stay in my shoe laces, not in my stomach. I did my best to take a few steps forward. But today you should all feel lucky I found my way out of bed. The only conclusion I can come to is that I prefer to be so wrecked inside that I can't navigate my way out. The sound of my own voice keeps catching me off guard, as if I'm practicing lines for opening night or some grand confrontation. Still not sure how those things found their way out of my mouth. I'm sure I meant to keep it in, sure I never meant for them to be said out loud. It isn't that I don't want you around, it's just that it's too much to ask, for me to wake up with you on my mind. Though I'm sure that all of my actions only support your theory - that I fit into this mold of apathy -I'd say I know myself better than you know me. And just because everything I've wanted lately has been what I can't have, it doesn't make me typical. It just means I've got something greater waiting for me. But I'm too bored to let this out of my mind completely. I've never been this person before, with my own agenda leading me through everything I do. Running around recklessly. I'm holding your hand while I make other plans. So why don't I wake up feeling guilty? Tired and heavy from chasing some dynamic source, so why can't I think of what's thinking of me?